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Hellloooo my beautiful honiessss,
Are you in devotion to your struggle story or your most abundant timeline?
This is something I see in client work all the time—the tension between honoring the past and not letting it dictate your future. And I get it. I've had my fair share of struggle. The kind that makes you question everything.
And yet, one of the most dangerous traps I see entrepreneurs fall into is becoming the identity of their struggle—turning it into the end all be all badge of honor i n s t e a d of a stepping stone.
Some of you may be in that crunchy struggle period— don't let this define you.
Some of you have been way past the struggle period— and you're playing it like a broken record waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Steep this …
There's a time and place to share your hero's journey. Storytelling expands your audience, builds trust, and positions you as someone who gets it. But there's a fine line between sharing your past and building your current identity around it.
I've seen people stay stuck in their struggle era simply because it's familiar. They wear it like armor. They bond over it. Cheers to it. They even one-up each other on how much harder they've had it.
I can think of a former colleague of mine who would always talk about how she grew up in poverty…. there was this “hardness” about her that she would boast—as if trying to communicate 'i've had it harder than all of you'. This same colleague couldn't understand why she was in a decade long feast and famine with her business…… poverty struggle as a badge of honor does not create a lucrative business no matter how talented she may be.
here's what i've seen with over a decade of successful client transformation… your identity is shaping your reality.
→ You can't identify as broke and attract wealth.
→ You can't identify as unlucky and attract ease
→ You can't identify as powerless and build an empire.
Your unconscious mind will always work to confirm the identity you're holding. period. period. period.
The real tea…
My husband, Z, has dyslexia. dyslexia can cause a very real struggle in someones day to day life. (just like it offers the gift of a creative and brilliant mind)
For years, he carried this diagnosis like a lifelong sentence, proof that things would always be harder for him.
He believed his struggle defined him, so he filtered every opportunity through the lens of “this won't work for me.”
Even after earning two degrees, he still didn't feel smart enough.
When job hunting, he convinced himself that “people like them don't hire people like me.”
And he unconsciously made life so much harder than it needed to be—because struggle was familiar, predictable, and in a weird way, safe.
It took so much self reflection and support to be able to look at: what is an actual struggle because of the dyslexia VERSUS what is a struggle because he's created a story about how hard things have to be for him.
this process is NOT about gaslighting yourself, spiritually bypassing or pretending the effect of your struggle wasn't as big as it was. no way! It's simply about reflecting if this new era with new visions…is supported by that old identity.
It took removing his identity from the struggle to see how much of his story wasn't reality—it was just a reinforced belief.
there is room and need for acknowledging ones hardship/trauma/lived experience…and there's room to decide to make lemonade with what you've been given.
When it comes to over identifying with our struggle…we likely do it because we're benefiting off of it in someway.
maybe when you hold onto that identity, you receive: attention, love, empathy, more time, a hand out, community, illusionary power, depth, admiration, parental support, etc
But nathaly the gold is that you don't have to hold on to that story in order to get those benefits!!
This week I want you to reflect on:
~am I identifying with my most abundant timeline or with every other reason as to why i can't have it?
~what do I get out of staying in that identity?
~what am i trying to attract that I am not currently embodying?
Schedule your illumination call so you and your business can be seen by an Oracle, if you need support, you can receive it here
Let me know what this brings up for you. Hit reply—I'd love to read your answers.
I'm heading over to mexico city in 10 days for a wedding of dear friends. If you have any restaurant or shopping reccs please let me know…i'll be in Roma Norte/Condesa area.
p.s.
If you're new here, check out past Cuppa Calm Emails, here.
You can check out my Podcast Oracle Unfiltered, here
You can screenshot your favorite part of this email and tag me @NathalyGranja_
with love and disruption.
cheers x
Nathaly | Oracle
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